Erica
by lp55925
Summary: Eric wakes up one morning a little...different. The once fat teenage boy is now an attractive girl? Now Eric Cartman has to deal with being Erica Cartman! Not good at summaries! Contains gender bending, slash, rape and swearing. Kyman. Mentions of Stendy and Clybe. Candy friendship.
1. Chapter 1

'Erica'

Pairing: Kyman

Disclaimer: I (obviously) don't own South Park

Constructive criticism is very much appreciated

* * *

"Hey, Stan, you know where fatass is?" sixteen year old Kyle Broflovski asked his super best friend, tilting his green ushanka so it sat properly on his wavy mop of blood red curls. Kyle had changed a lot since that scrawny Jew he was known to be in the fourth grade. He was now quite tall, around six foot two. He was by no way weak, but, he was also not one of the strongest students at the school. After a hearty battle with his mother and father he was allowed to play on the South Park High Basket Ball team. As well as being on the Basket Ball team he was also still the smartest in the school, getting straight A's. His and Stan's friendship had only gotten better from Elementary School, if that was possible. With the countless times he and his SBF had gone to each other's houses in the middle of the night it was a well believed theory that Stan and Kyle would go out. They were wrong. Kyle had come out as bisexual about three years prior, but, as of yet, hadn't shown any signs of going out with any boys. He had had his fair share of girlfriends in the past. One of these small one week girlfriends being Bebe, the hottest girl at their school, but he had broken up with her fairly quickly, stating that she was 'too clingy'.

"Don't know, Kyle!" Stan Marsh stated turning to the aforementioned red head. Stan, like his SBF, had changed quite a lot. Not as much as many others, mind you, but still quite a lot. He had grown to be the second tallest in their little group, behind Kyle, at six foot. Being the star quarterback for their High School Football team had given him a quite muscular appearance. He was quite smart, getting mostly A's as well as a few B's. If you don't remember from before (which you should seeing as it was just mentioned not that long ago), his and Kyle's friendship grew. It grew to the point were rumours were started that they were a gay couple. They believed Cartman had started it, but he had argued that he had been saying it for years and nobody had believed him. They had reluctantly accepted his reason as to why he hadn't started it. Though they still did have their doubts. Stan was one hundred percent straight. He and his girlfriend, Wendy, had dated on again off again since third grade. Stan had long since gotten over his puking problem when trying to kiss her. They had supposedly gotten so far as to have sex. Though that's just a rumour.

"Maybe he's stuffing his face with Cheesy Poofs again!" Kenny McCormick suggested, voice muffled by the hood of his orange Parka. Kenny had become the second shortest in their group, at five foot nine. He still refuses to take off his voice-muffling hood, unless he's having sex of course. As predicted by many, Kenny had become the biggest man whore at the High School, and possibly even the entire town. If you were a girl who wasn't in a committed relationship, chances were that you've probably had a one night stand with Kenneth McCormick. Kenny's family life however was a very big surprise to everyone. After he had grown sick and tired of his sister, Karen, not getting enough to eat, Kenny had kicked his dad's ass and forced him to go to rehab to get over his many drug addictions. After he came out Stuart had gotten a job at the Elementary School, god knows why, and managed to keep enough food on the McCormick dinner table. It didn't just stop there. Oh no! Stuart got a night job working at the bar. After the bartender died, he left property of the bar to Stuart. With him earning all the money at his place of work, Stuart had just managed to get his family out of the ghetto. Though it had already been one year since he had gotten out of that hell hole, Kenny had been thankful since. Kenny's family now eat just as well as every other family. Though he is still the poorest kid in school, the margin isn't by much.

Cartman, the fourth and final member of the boys group of friends, had been the biggest physical shock of any of the South Park kids. He was the shortest of the group, at five foot five. He hated being called short. He hated it so much that the previous year after a taller boy had made fun of his height, he snuck into the boys bedroom at night, sawed off his right foot –after knocking him out, and left written on his bedroom walls in a red ink that closely resembled blood, 'I may be short, but you've now lost a foot!' When the boy's mother walked in to find her son missing a foot and that message on the walls she immediately called an ambulance, but it was too late for the foot to be re attached, and he had to walk with a crutch for the rest of his life. When he came back to school the following week and told everyone what the message said, almost everyone had decidedly steered clear of mocking Eric's stature. But that wasn't the change that had people all over town talking. No. That was reserved for Cartman's weight. After getting really pissed off about being called fat during their first year of middle school, Cartman locked himself away in his house all summer. Most had assumed he was gorging himself on pizzas and Cheesy Poofs. They had been proven wrong, however, when Cartman showed up at school the next school year. He showed up a lot thinner and with quite a bit more muscle. After about six weeks the novelty wore off and people started making 'fatass' jokes again. This had pissed Eric off royally. It angered him so much that he ended up being suspended from school for a week after ripping down a set of lockers from a wall. While at home Cartman decided that he would much rather himself be fat though –he would not admit it to anyone, and be made fun of for it than not be fat and _still_ be made fun of. Eric had returned to his old eating habits. Though however hard he tried, and he did try very hard, he couldn't get back to the same weight. He came close. With all the muscle he had kept he came very close. But close didn't cut it for Eric Theodore Cartman. With that attitude, Cartman's weight began to fluctuate. Leaving him obese one month, the next he would be muscular. Though he wasn't open about his sexuality, many believed Eric was gay. Which, unfortunately for him, he was. But he kept his head high and denied every accusation constantly.

Cartman hadn't been at school the day before either.

While looking off towards in the direction of Cartman's house, Kenny noticed a girl he had not ever seen walking towards them.

"Hey, Stan, Kyle! Look over there." He gestured to the approaching girl, "You ever seen her before?"

"No! Is she new?" Kyle replied.

"She's pretty hot!" Kenny commented.

The oncoming teenage girl had long, auburn tresses flowing down her back to just below her ass. The brunette was wearing a light blue wool knit hat, with yellow trimmings, that was covering the top of her head. She was wearing a vastly oversized red jacket, her DD's holding up the chest area. She was also wearing a pear of short shorts, covered by the big red coat. Underneath her coat, she was wearing a pink tank top over the top of a white bra. Most of her legs were being covered by long black boots, though she was still cold and shivering uncontrollably. She had a cute face, a small button nose and deep red lips curved into a pretty little frown. Her eyes were a beautiful shade of golden brown. She was probably five foot four.

"Hey, you knew?" Kenny asked once the girl reached them at the bus stop.

"Fuck off, Kinny!" she replied almost immediately.

"Huh? How do you know his name?" Stan questioned.

"Wait, you said my name just like… C-Cartman?!" Kenny shouted.

"Yes! YOU'RE SO FUCKING SMART KENNY!" Cartman shouted in a high pitched voice, an angered expression returning to her face.

"What the fuck?!" Stan commented.

"Yea! Dude, you're like… not fat!" Kyle added.

"And you have boobs!" Kenny said, eyeing the previously mentioned breasts perversely.

"And you're not fat!" Kyle repeated.

"And you have long hair!" Stan informed.

"And you're not fat!"

"THANK YOU FOR POINTING OUT THE FUCKING OBVIOUS!"

"W-what happened?" Stan inquired.

"I don't know! I woke up like this yesterday and…" her scowl depend and she turned to face her friends, "You did this!" she yelled, gesturing to her new form.

"What?!" they all responded simultaneously.

"How could we do… _that?!_" Kenny included.

"You done something like this when you made me a ginger!"

"Dude, this is a lot different than dying your hair!" Stan reasoned.

"I don't care! You assholes done this! I'm gonna find a way to prove it!"

Just then the bus showed up. Erica walked to the back of the bus, not even acknowledging the confused stares and perverted smiles that followed behind her as she did. She sat next to Butters and sighed.

"H-hey there! W-what's your n-name!"

"Butters, it's me… Eric!" she informed the naïve blond.

Said blonde gave her a confused look and replied, "N-no Eric's a boy. You're a-a girl!"

Erica looked up at him. Butters had become quite lanky at five foot ten, but had hardly any muscles. He could still be beat up by most of his peers, including those shorter than him. "Fine! My name's Erica then!" She angrily replied, then muttered under her breath, "Asshole."

"W-well h-hello, Erica!"

By the time they were at the High School Cartman couldn't get off fast enough. She had gotten really pissed off with Butters endless rambling and just wanted to get the day over with. She had stormed through the school halls, attracting a lot of unwanted attention. The entire hallway seemed to stop and stare when the 'new' girl opened the locker belonging to one Eric Cartman.

When she turned around and saw the entire hallway staring at her, some mouths agape, Erica shouted, "WHAT! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU HIPPIE ASSHOLES LOOKING AT?" She then stormed of down the halls, leaving her audience confused.

"Did that girl go into Cartman's locker?" Craig finally spoke up, causing everyone else to snap out of their shocked state.

"Y-yea!" Clyde affirmed.

"N-no!" Kenny shouted suddenly, all eyes on him as a consequence.

"What do you mean 'no'?" Bebe asked.

"That _is_ Cartman!" he shouted. The whole hallway began to laugh hysterically. But when Kenny's expression remained serious the laughter died down.

"What the hell Kenny! You can't be serious!" Token shouted.

"Come on! He, or... she... called us hippies! Now who else do you know who does that?"

"Yea, but she is a _girl_!" Red reasoned.

"And she's not fat!" Kyle added, causing a hall wide 'yea'.

"That is Cartman! She has the same hair colour and everything."

"Okay fine lets just say that it is Cartman! She, or... he... is being a dick head, just like Cartman, anyway!" Stan stated.

"I think we should help him, or… her… through this whole... being a chick thing!"

Everyone turned towards Kyle, the source of the confusing outburst.

"Why?" Craig questioned monotonously, raising an eyebrow.

"Because he's gonna be even more pissed off than he usually is! Especially if he can get periods and all that!"

"I have to agree with Kyle there! Cartman on his, or… her… period would be pretty bad." Wendy added.

"Oh, we could go out shopping for some cloths and shoes!" Bebe squealed.

"Yea... _you_ could." Kenny replied hesitantly.

"We should go later! Come on Wendy, you gonna come?"

"Fine! Just because I don't think it is good to be alone with Cartman." Wendy assured her excited friend.

"Wendy you deal with Cartman's… womanly problems!" Kyle commanded.

"Why me?!"

"Because he hates you, and we want him to have the least fun with this as possible!"

Wendy sighed, rolling her eyes at Kyle and Cartman's petty rivalry, "Okay." The bell then rang signalling the start of first period.

* * *

A/N: I will probably refer to Cartman as female in this. Also the other's will begin to refer to him as a she in later chapters. I will also try to keep everyone as in character as I can.


	2. Chapter 2

Erica sat in her seat at the back of the class waiting for the first class of the day to begin. She hated being a… well, a she. Her voice was so high pitched and feminine that it sounded like Wendy's. She had been waiting for almost ten minutes before the bell rang and the class started. Her first class of the day was Math. Math was taught by her third, fourth, fifth and sixth grade teacher, Mr Garrison. The class was also made up of mostly people who had the fag in those grades as well. Erica's classmates came in and settled there selves down in there seat. A number of confused eyes were on Cartman, or who they had deemed the 'new girl'.

The balding grey haired math teacher strolled through his classroom's door. Even though he taught in a High School Garrison kept Mr Hat. The puppet was still his teacher's assistant, still showing off his angrier, more perverted side. The old man lazily walked to his desk, yawning silently to himself as he did so.

"Okay let's do registration, you little bastards! Token?" He asks slowly, searching his classroom for the only male African American in the class.

"Here!"

"Kyle?" he looked up again, seeking out the red headed, Jewish boy.

"Yes!"

"Eric?" He looked around the room for his fat, foul mouthed student.

"Hyah!" A high pitched and feminine voice spoke up, causing all eyes to travel to the 'new' girl.

"I said Eric… Eric Cartman!"

"I know what you said you demented faggot!"

"Then why the fuck did you answer?"

"Do I have to spell it out for you? Jesus Christ, I knew you were retarded but... just wow! I. am. Eric. Cartman!"

All the expressionless stares she was getting from her classmates who weren't in the halls with the majority of them immediately transformed into ones of shock and confusion.

"What do you mean your Eric Cartman?! How is that even possible?" Heidi asked, flipping her mousy coloured hair out of her eyes.

"God damn you assholes are stupid." Cartman muttered under her breath, "I went to sleep on Sunday in my normal body, and, after Kyle used his Jew magic, I woke up like this yesterday!"

"I did not do that, fatass!"

"Yes you did you stupid, mother fucking, god damn Jew rat!"

"Hold on for a second, dick heads!" Mr Hat said, "What the fuck is going on? If you're Eric, why the hell are you female?"

"Like I said, Kyle used his Jew magic on me!"

"I did NOT!"

"Wait, if you're that fat fuck, why are you wearing such… _revealing_ cloths?" Kenny asked, eyeing her boobs with a grin on his face.

"Aye! Kinny, stop staring at me you ghetto trash!"

"Okay, okay! But why _are_ you wearing… that? Though, I'm not complaining!"

Erica sighed, rolled her eyes then explained, "Well, I wasn't really… expecting Kyle's Jew magic to turn–"

"I did not use 'Jew magic' on you!"

"As I was _saaaaaaaying…_ to turn me into… well, into a chick. So after I woke up like this yesterday, I spent most of the morning bashing my head on a wall trying to become, you know, me again."

"God fatass, you are so fucking stupid!" Craig says, rolling his eyes at her stupidity.

"Shut up, Craig!"

"Whatever!"

"Anyway as I was SAYING. After a couple of hours, or something stupid like that, I think I was knocked unconscious or something, 'cause I woke up this morning on the floor of my room."

"Dumbass!" Stan says.

"Soooooo I went around the house looking for cloths that would fit me! I went into my mom's room and took out anything I could find that might fit me. And the ones that happened to fit the best were these!" She finishes, gesturing to the cloths she was wearing.

"D-did you t-tell her a-about b-borrowing her c-cloths, Erica?" Butters asks, knocking his knuckles together.

"No! But she's on 'business trip'!" Erica explained, rolling her eyes.

"O-oh okay then."

"Wait, wait, wait… you are Eric Cartman?!" Garrison questioned, finally managing to get a word in.

"YES! God damn, you're such a stupid fag!" She replied, scoffing and rolling her eyes.

"Go to the principal's office!" Hat ordered, his puppeteer holding his head in one hand.

"Why?!" Cartman yelled angrily.

"Go tell the fucking principal about you're… predicament!"

"FINE!" She shouted, walking up towards the front of the classroom, hips and hair swaying as she strode. "Fucking mentally challenged, grey haired, balding, retarded faggot prick!" she muttered.

"Watch your language young… lady?" Mr Hat screamed, causing a few giggles from the students and the raise of the middle finger from Erica.

* * *

Erica paced down the hall, thinking over her predicament. 'How the hell am I stuck like this? What did I do to deserve it? I should probably go to the hospital! What the fuck am I gonna do about cloths? If I find out whose fault this is I will fucking KILL them! Oh god, what if I get periods? I don't know what to do with tampons or any of that crap!'

She finally reached her destination and knocked on the door. It opened revealing a tall black haired man, blue eyes dreary with lack of sleep. He looked at the girl expectedly, raising an eyebrow in confusion. When his unexpected visitor didn't speak, he began to grow angry.

"Well? What are you doing here?" He spat rudely.

"Well I have something to explain to you."

"Fine! Step in Miss…?"

"Cartman." He raised a confused eyebrow, she sighed "That's what I have to explain."

The tall, musically principal stepped out of the way for the shorter girl. They walked over to the mahogany desk in the centre of the well-kept office. The room had a number of awards, won by both students and faculty, placed upon shelves, the same type of wood as the desk. His office was extremely tidy, not a single stray bit of trash was to be found, no trophy or photo was out of line with any other, and all papers neatly organised and sorted in alphabetically labelled drawers. Needless to say he was a perfectionist who suffered from strong OCD. Erica explained all about her situation to the principal, answering any questions the man had. Her principal was one of the only people Erica was at least a little bit intimidated of. Even more so with her now being even smaller, and a 'weak girl' with no muscles. The man was a good six foot five, with a long menacing scar going over his eye, supposedly from a fight. He was a very, very muscly man, who could probably knock out a lot of people with a single punch. He was also a substitute for the P.E. teacher from time to time.

Once she finished, the man gave a long sigh, "Well, if what you have told me is true, you will have to speak to each of your teachers to find out what they will do with your little… issue. Okay so, if that's all you want, you can go back to class." He mumbled, giving a flick of his wrist.

* * *

After she got half way down the hall Erica pulled her cell phone out of one of her oversized blood red jacket to check the time. 'Twenty minutes? I think I have enough time to go a piss and get back to class!' she thought. After turning a couple corridors Cartman found the two restrooms. 'Fuck! What one do I need to go in? I would seem like a pervert if I go in the girl's one! Then again, I am a chick, so I could always use that to get out of being called a perv!' She eventually came to the conclusion that it would be better to go in the girl's bathroom.

Following the opening of the bathroom door, Erica heard two familiar female voices entering. "I don't know Wendy," the first one said, "a lot of crazy shit goes on in this town! Maybe that really is Cartman. I still think we should help him –slash her, get through this!"

"Oh come on Bebe," Wendy retorted, "you just want an excuse to go shopping!"

Bebe giggled, "Is it really that obvious?"

"Yea! But come on, he probably won't even go with us anyway! You know how he is!" Wendy explained to her blond friend.

"Yes, I do! All we have to do is offer to buy him a pretzel or something and he'll come for sure!"

"I guess you're right." The raven haired girl sighed.

"Of 'cause I am! But I'm still trying to think about how this could happen!"

"Maybe he hired a cousin to pretend to be him or something like that!"

"I heard his mother's a hermaphrodite, maybe this happened to her!"

"No. That's stupid! Anyway, she isn't a hermaphrodite, Mephesto tampered with the results or something like that. His mom's normal."

"We should tell him her next time we see…" Crash! Bebe was interrupted by the collapse of one of the stall doors. The two girls jumped, startled by the sudden disturbance coming from behind them. The pair eventually got over the initial shock and turned their heads to find the source of the commotion. They found Erica beginning to stand, dusting her cloths and muttering a string of obscenities directed at no one in particular.

"Cartman?!" the two girls screamed at an annoyingly high pitch.

"Ho! Skank!" She shouted in reply, "God damn, you're voices are so high!"

"Well, in case you hadn't noticed, yours isn't so deep anymore either!" Wendy retorted, smirking slightly.

"Whatever bitch!"

"What are you doing in here anyway, Cartman?" Bebe quizzed, tilting her head

"What does it look like, Skank? I was taking a piss!"

Wendy raised an eyebrow, while frowning, "This is the _girl's _bathroom!"

"Well," Erica started, "I do have a vagina, and boobs, oh, and long hair 'n stuff!"

"Yea, but you're still a guy…"

Wendy was cut off by Cartman mimicking her voice and saying, "Yea, but you're still a guy, which means you are obviously perving on us. Because you could totally take advantage of us without a penis!" Bebe giggled slightly at how Wendy and Cartman almost sounded identical with Cartman now being female.

"What's so funny Bebe?" Wendy queried her friend, noticing the quiet laughter.

"It's just that… that, well, you and Cartman sound almost exactly the same!"

"NO WE DON'T!" The two similar sounding girls screamed simultaneously at the blond in front of them causing her to burst out into a full out laughing fit. Wendy and Erica looked at each other and, again, muttered at the same time, "Weird!"

"Well, anyways, I am going." Erica walked towards the door, about to leave, when she turned around to the two teens, "By the way, I actually do need cloths, so… yea! Bayeeee…!"

* * *

Erica realized –while heading back to Mr Garrison's class, that she had P.E. next. That was bad as she didn't have a fitting Gym kit. She chose, after little thinking, that the best way to deal with this slight predicament was to head to Mr Randall, the P.E. teacher's, office.

She knocked lightly on the gold name–plated door. Subsequently to hearing a faint 'come in' from the other side, Cartman opened the door and walked towards the desk. The office was not nearly as neat as the principal's, but was still covered in trophies and awards. It was also quite a bit smaller than the Principal's. The man behind the pine wood desk was not as intimidating as the principal, but, at his full height, Mr Randall was quite a threatening person, even more so.

"Err… sir, I'm… new to the school,"

"And…?" Mr Randall added slowly, in a questioning tone, while raising a sceptical eyebrow.

"Well, I have PE class next period, but I don't have a PE kit so I can't do PE today, Mr…?" Cartman finished by rolling her hands around each other.

"Randel. So you're new, huh? What's your name, Miss?"

"Eriiiiiiiiiic–a… yea, Erica!"

"Well, Erica, as I haven't seen you before so you don't have to do PE today. Now get out of my office!" Cartman grinned as she ran out of the office, just as the bell sounded, signalling the start of PE class. After spotting his friends walking towards the changing rooms, grinning.

"Hey assholes!" She squealed in her high pitched voice, "I don't have to do PE! HA HA HA HA!"

"No shit! You don't have a kit!" Kyle replied rolling his eyes.

Erica smiled, "Well if you'll excuse me, I'll go get a drink!" She then began waltzing away, hips swaying side–to–side. "Stop staring Kenny!"

'How did he…?" Kenny thought, but brushed it off as he and his friends entered the gym.


	3. Chapter 3

By the time the school day had ended Erica had completely forgot about Bebe taking her to the mall, so, needless to say, when Bebe grabbed her hand as she was walking away, Erica was startled.

"What the fuck do you want, Blondie?" Erica screamed angrily.

"Wendy and I are taking you to the mall, remember?"

"Oh yea. Wait, that bitch Wendy is coming? Why?" Erica screamed.

"Because she thinks you're an asshole." Bebe informed her, smirking.

"No… I had no idea! Oh, whatever could I do to make her change her mind?" Cartman said, sarcasm dripping from every word that left his mouth. To Cartman's dismay, Wendy had shown up seconds later and the three had got ready to leave. The three girls had gotten into Bebe's new car and drove off.

They had stopped at Erica's house to get her mom's credit card –which he knew the pin to.

Once Wendy, Bebe and Erica had reached the mall Bebe grabbed Erica's hand and dragged her to one of the many cloths shops.

"Bebe, could I ask you two questions?" Cartman asked after two hours of shopping.

"Yea?" Bebe said.

"First, how, the fuck, much does this fucking cost?" She screamed.

"Err… not allot." Bebe mumbled beginning to skip down the mall.

"Right! Second, why have most of the cloths you've been buying look like those that sluts wear? Who do you think I'm trying to impress?"

Wendy butted in before Bebe could say anything, "Come on Cartman, everyone at school already knows you're gay! So you can drop the act!"

Cartman's eyes widened, "THEY DO?! OH GOD DAMN IT! Wait… if they do know, why haven't they said anything?" Then he saw the confused face of Bebe and the smirking one of Wendy. Something clicked and an enraged scowl grew on her face. "SHIT! That's so not kewl, you god damn hippie bitch! If you tell anyone I'll… well I'll do something. I can't really think of anything that bad considering I just accidentally came out to two bitches. Just, don't say anything, got it?"

"Ooh! So who was he?" Bebe asked, finally getting it.

Cartman, completely confused, then asked, "Who?"

"Who was the first guy you had a crush on?"

"You know, just because you found out I'm gay doesn't mean you can have little girl talks about guys and… penises...? with me! That's a stereotype that'll come back to bite you in the ass!" Cartman then began to grin wickedly, "OH! That's a good one! Maybe I could cut off Bebe's ass if you tell!"

"Okay, but who was he?" Wendy asked, seemingly intrigued.

"If either of you laugh I will kill you both!" Cartman, said, then added under his breath, "Wendy don't get pissed."

"What was that?"

"Nothing!" Cartman sighed, "It was Stan."

"When?!" Wendy screamed.

"Third grade… I think."

"Since third grade?!" Wendy shouted, "Do you still have a crush on him?" She refused to use the word 'love' when talking to anybody about Stan, unless she was referring to herself.

"Oh, god no! I got over that when I realised how much of a pussy he is!"

Wendy clenched her fists by her sides, "You may not have noticed _Ms_ Cartman, but you're not such a macho man either!"

"Oh, Ms Testis-Burger, I am completely offended! I think I might go cry into a box of fucking tampons!" Cartman retorted, then burst out laughing. Bebe rolled her eyes at their petty squabbling. Erica checked her watch and sighed, "Well, fun as this may be, I must go now. I will see you two skanks later."

Cartman then walked away, taking the bags off of Bebe. Wendy ran up to her, "Where are you going? Bebe drove us here."

"I'm goin' to Mephesto's lab, I can walk from here. So, like I said before, I'll see you two skanks later." She winked and left the mall.

"Oh!" Bebe called from behind, "Wendy, they have a sale on shoes! Come here."

"Coming." Wendy muttered under her breath, eyes still locked on were Cartman had been.

* * *

It took Erica ten minutes but she managed to get to Mephesto's lab. Knocking loudly on the door, she tapped her foot and folded her arms. "Yes?" The croaky voice of the elderly scientist asked through the metal door.

"Let me in!" Erica commanded.

The old man sighed, "I'm too old for this. Come in." He opened the door and stepped aside.

Once they were inside, Dr Mephesto asked Erica, "What seems to be the problem, young lady?"

"Well, Mephesto, I'll tell you straight out, my name is Eric Cartman." The old man went to say something but Cartman raised her hand, "Let me finish. I was a boy two days ago and I woke up as a girl yesterday! I want you to run test on anything you can to see what the problem is!"

The old man sighed, "Fine."

He ran tests for about thirty minutes and came back.

Erica glared at him, "Well?" She screamed.

"You said you're a 'Cartman', right?" He asked.

She raised an eyebrow at the ass–obsessed scientist, "Yea…"

"Oh, well, the Cartman family is a very strange one…"

Erica rolled her eyes and mumbled, "You're telling me."

"The male born children of the Cartman family have a very strange gene. Is your mother's name… let me see here… ah yes, is your mother's name 'Leanne'?"

Erica once again raised an eyebrow, "Yes." She stated.

"Well she was actually born 'Lee Cartman'."

"What?!"

"Yes, the male children have a very special gene, not recorded in any other family. A male Cartman has a fifty percent chance to have the gene work."

"What does this gene do?" Erica asked, very intrigued.

"If the gene works then some time whilst they are sixteen. They generally associate as a homosexual beforehand and also have a history of cross–dressing and–or associating with the opposite sex. Now, Erica, this is very important, did you have any of these?"

"Well… I'm kinda, you know, gay. And, yea, I cross–dress."

The old man coughed and then said, "Ok, that's good. Were you an angry child, Erica?"

Erica coughed as well, but hers was out of surprise. She smiled. "You could say that."

"Ok, as was your mother."

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait… wait. MY mim was an angry child? But she's like all nice to everyone and stuff!"

"Yes, the gender change seems to have some sort of an effect on a Cartman's psyche. Your mother was said to have a very small penis and was angry because she was a transgender and couldn't identify as a female."

"Okay. What does this mean for _me,_ Mephesto?"

"It means you'll go through the same change, Erica..." He was cut off by Erica.

"Why do you keep calling me 'Erica'?" She screamed. She was okay the first time, even the second, but the third really annoyed her.

He sighed, "Because gradually you will come to identify more and more as a female, wanting everyone to refer to you as 'Erica'."

"God damn it! Fahn!" She crossed her arms over her chest in anger.

"Any other questions, Eriiii…" The man cut himself off, "Eric?"

"Err… oh yea, how do my, you know, reproductive organs work?"

"Are you asking if you can get pregnant and whether you have periods?"

"Yes."

"Well, your body is exactly like that of a woman, so you'll have everything."

"OH, GOD DAMN IT!"


End file.
